queenie
05-18-2007, 07:46 AM
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've
been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you
had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had
gotten a new hair
cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk
boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went
straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex
anymore or
anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me
anymore,
whatever the case is, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving
away to
West
Virginia together! Have
a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,
although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so
much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad
that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first
thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a girl!"
but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't
say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers
on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning
... And your
silk boxers were $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to
Jamaica But when I got home you were
gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that
with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
me. So take care.
Signed
Rich As H_e_l_l and Free!:)
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my
sister, was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've
been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you
had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had
gotten a new hair
cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk
boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went
straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex
anymore or
anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me
anymore,
whatever the case is, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving
away to
West
Virginia together! Have
a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,
although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so
much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad
that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first
thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a girl!"
but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't
say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers
on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning
... And your
silk boxers were $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to
Jamaica But when I got home you were
gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that
with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
me. So take care.
Signed
Rich As H_e_l_l and Free!:)
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my
sister, was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem.